I spent a good part of this past weekend at a women’s gathering hosted by my church. In the flurry of various speakers, discussion questions, and breakout sessions, there was one statement made that grabbed my attention and drove itself down into my heart.
One of the speakers was talking about the game of comparison–how we look at the lives of others and focus on all of the ways we feel like our own lives and circumstances don’t measure up. We get stuck in a place where we feel bitter, disappointed, and lose out on enjoying the things we do have.
You know the saying . . . The grass is always greener on the other side.
The speaker went on to say that quite often, it’s true that others have greener grass. That nice, lush, green lawn we see in our neighbor’s yard isn’t just an illusion–many times the lives and circumstances of others around us are better.
But instead of letting that draw us down, we should take it as a call to instead “water our own grass.”
For the first 33 years of my life, feeling like the victim and throwing pity parties for myself was the main way I dealt with seeing someone else’s greener grass.
It’s just so easy to complain, whine, and blame other people for the things about my own life that I don’t like.
And I felt like if I just “sucked it up,” dealt with my disappointment and moved on, that somehow I was being fake and not true to my emotions. I told myself that authenticity called for me to let my pity parties run wild.
For the past few years though, God has been at work in my heart and has been gradually releasing me from living like a victim.
He has been teaching me the value of watering my own grass, instead of just letting it wither and die while I wish for somebody else’s lush lawn.
So much about our life and circumstances is out of our control. Those things we have to let go of. Those things aren’t in our lawn.
But the things we do have control over are ours to maintain, nourish, feed, and grow.
Other DIY/Home bloggers have a prettier blog platform than I do. Well, that means I need to put the hard work into mine to make it what I want it to be.
Other dealers at the antique mall sell more than I do. Well, that means I need to work harder to find, price, and display better inventory.
Other small business mompreneurs seem to have more time to have fun with their family than I do. Well, that means I need to better plan my time and delegate some things to other people.
I get that watering your own grass is easier said than done.
This world can be really mean and tear you down. Painful things happen, circumstances can be disappointing, people will fail you. Even our own mind fights against us trying to water our own grass sometimes.
I know what it feels like to literally not be able to control what your mind is thinking–You are talking to a woman with three, clinically-diagnosed mental health issues (that’s another story for another day . . .).
It can be really, really, really, hard to stop those negative thoughts and instead move forward with purpose and joy.
But don’t you think it’s worth it? A life that is filled with gratitude, peace, and the contentment that comes after a hard day’s work cannot be found through living as a victim.
So what parts of your grass right now need to be watered? What is keeping you from tending to those places?
My great hope is that this blog offers some steps you can take to water your own grass.
Whether it’s tips for how to run your own small business, or ideas for how to make your home the beautiful space you long for, I hope that some of what I share here helps your own grass flourish.
I know it can be hard work, but don’t you want to look up and see life around you? It can happen! But it’s up to you to do it.
Linking up to: Wow Us Wednesdays
I spent the weekend at the same IF gathering! What a blessing it was.
So fun Lynette! It was a great time.
This is a lovely post, Melanie! I’ve learned that we are all on our own journey…why would we want to walk someone else’s path? Supporting and being happy for other people’s successes, is an important part of our own growth!
That is so true Linda. There is enough space in this world for everybody to achieve their dreams 🙂 Rejoicing in the success of others gives us the ability to experience not only our own joy, but theirs also.
What a great reminder of what God wants us to do with our “grass.”
Let’s not forget to pray for creativity as we build a joy filled life. If one area of life is disappointing, ask God for a new dream that is within His will. He has endless possibilities.
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
Yes Kim! The more life that passes, the more I learn that God has so many plans in store for me that I could never dream of (like writing this blog!)
Thank you Melanie for your honesty and your inpiration…it is always lovely to read something that comes from the heart 🙂
You are welcome Christine. I appreciate you being a reader 🙂
Lovely post Melanie! I love this analogy, thanks for sharing.
Thank you Linda! It wasn’t mine, I just shared the words of the speaker. But they struck me as so wise, I had to pass them on.
You are an inspiration, your blogs are great….you have such energy. i wished I lived near you. You are my kind of person. Keep watering your grass to the best of your ability…don’t let the well run dry!
Thank you Sherry . . You are so kind! We can at least be internet friends, right?
I hope your issues are not weighing you down too heavily. I know life is a challenge. I have issues with a troubled grown son and often I wake up in the middle of the night and dwell on the negative things in my life especially since I am in my later years and don’t have a whole lifetime ahead of me to make things right! All any of us can do is the best we can do. God doesn’t expect more of us so we shouldn’t put undue burdens on ourselves.
Thank you Sue, I am doing quite well. I am sorry to hear about the issues with your son and the anxiety you feel sometimes. I will pray for greater peace!
What a great and encouraging post, Melanie! I am older than you and I’ve finished raising (and homeschooling) my children. I started my business out of necessity (we need the money!) but also out of a passion for creativity and a desire to reflect God’s beauty. I often find myself comparing myself to other merchants, and I feel guilty or inadequate. Your reminder to “water my own grass” is just what I needed to hear today.
Another piece of advice that always echoes in my mind is Elisabeth Elliot’s “Do the next thing.” When there are blogs to write and workshops to plan, and there’s cleaning to be done and furniture to paint, and the list is long… just do the next thing. Live in the moment, and do your best at what you are tackling right this instant. Good advice. 😀
That is good advice Janet. She was a very wise woman. I love that you see your business as a way to reflect God’s beauty 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing!
Not only was your post excellent but so were many of the comments. Thank you.
You are so welcome Wendy. I am thankful for the readers who take the time to leave such thoughtful comments too.
Thanks for this post. I am on the same journey myself and felt every word you have written. May we all keep getting the strength to water are own grass. Blessings from Toronto.
Thank you Aman! I hope you are staying warm way up there 🙂
Thank you for sharing. I feel “double blessed” by reading your blog. You fill me with wonderful ideas for painting furniture….but MORE importantly, you help me to grow spiritually. You are a blessing.
Thank you Melanie, those are very kind words (and may I say you have such a lovely name!! 🙂 )
Good one! So glad I recently found your blog. Thanks! :oD
Thank you Penny 🙂