I spent a good part of this past weekend at a women’s gathering hosted by my church. In the flurry of various speakers, discussion questions, and breakout sessions, there was one statement made that grabbed my attention and drove itself down into my heart.
One of the speakers was talking about the game of comparison–how we look at the lives of others and focus on all of the ways we feel like our own lives and circumstances don’t measure up. We get stuck in a place where we feel bitter, disappointed, and lose out on enjoying the things we do have.
You know the saying . . . The grass is always greener on the other side.
The speaker went on to say that quite often, it’s true that others have greener grass. That nice, lush, green lawn we see in our neighbor’s yard isn’t just an illusion–many times the lives and circumstances of others around us are better.
But instead of letting that draw us down, we should take it as a call to instead “water our own grass.”
For the first 33 years of my life, feeling like the victim and throwing pity parties for myself was the main way I dealt with seeing someone else’s greener grass. It’s just so easy to complain, whine, and blame other people for the things about my own life that I don’t like. And I felt like if I just “sucked it up,” dealt with my disappointment and moved on, that somehow I was being fake and not true to my emotions. I told myself that authenticity called for me to let my pity parties run wild.
For the past 3 years though, God has been at work in my heart and has been gradually releasing me from living like a victim. He has been teaching me the value of watering my own grass, instead of just letting it wither and die while I wish for somebody else’s lush lawn.
So much about our life and circumstances is out of our control. Those things we have to let go of. Those things aren’t in our lawn.
But the things we do have control over are ours to maintain, nourish, feed, and grow.
Other DIY/Home bloggers have a prettier blog platform than I do. Well, that means I need to put the hard work into mine to make it what I want it to be.
Other dealers at the antique mall sell more than I do. Well, that means I need to work harder to find, price, and display better inventory.
Other small business mompreneurs seem to have more time to have fun with their family than I do. Well, that means I need to better plan my time and delegate some things to other people.
I get that watering your own grass is easier said than done. This world can be really mean and tear you down. Painful things happen, circumstances can be disappointing, people will fail you. Even our own mind fights against us trying to water our own grass sometimes.
I know what it feels like to literally not be able to control what your mind is thinking–You are talking to a woman with three, clinically-diagnosed mental health issues (that’s another story for another day . . .). It can be really, really, really, hard to stop those negative thoughts and instead move forward with purpose and joy.
But don’t you think it’s worth it? A life that is filled with gratitude, peace, and the contentment that comes after a hard day’s work cannot be found through living as a victim.
So what parts of your grass right now need to be watered? What is keeping you from tending to those places?
My great hope is that this blog offers some steps you can take to water your own grass. Whether it’s tips for how to run your own small business, or ideas for how to make your home the beautiful space you long for, I hope that some of what I share here helps your own grass flourish.
I know it can be hard work, but don’t you want to look up and see life around you? It can happen! But it’s up to you to do it.
Linking up to: Wow Us Wednesdays